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Archive for the 'Joke's' Category


NECROPHILIA phone sex

zoe80a

A man was brought before the judge and charged with Necrophilia. The judge said to the man, “In the 20 years on the bench, I’ve never heard such a disgusting, immoral thing. Just give me one good reason why I shouldn’t lock you up and throw away the key!”

The man replied, “I’ll give you THREE good reasons:
first of all, it’s none of your damn business…
second of all, she was my wife…
and third of all, I didn’t KNOW she was dead, she ALWAYS acted that way in bed!”


Ophelia 1-866-429-4352

Dark Sexy Ophelia

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Funny Joke!~

02tyrty1

Entrepreneurship in the begging world…..

Jose and Carlos are both beggars. They beg in different areas of town.
Carlos begs for the same amount of time as Jose but only collects about
eight or nine dollars a day.
Every day Jose brings home a suitcase full of five dollar bills. He
drives a Mercedes, lives in a mortgage-free house and has lots of cash
to spend.
“Hey, amigo,” Carlos says to Jose, “I work just as long and hard as you
do, so how come you bring home a suitcase full of five dollar bills
every day?”
Jose says, “Look at your sign, what does it say?”
Carlos’ sign reads;

I have no work, a wife and six kids to support.

“What’s wrong with that?” Carlos asks him.
“No wonder you only get eight or nine dollars a day!”
Carlos says, “Alright, so what does your sign say?”
Jose’s sign reads:

I only need five dollars to get back to Mexico


Faye 1-888-789-1804

Young... Sweet... Sticky Bad Girl Faye

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Today’s Inspirational Lesson.

NEVER irritate a woman who can operate a backhoe…

truckmoat

Thus endeth the lesson.

Women are Angels. And when someone breaks our wings,

we simply continue to fly on a broomstick.

We are flexible like that.


Cherish 1-877-269-5362

Cherish... Your Fantasy.

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Hilarious shit!

banner

Ok so this video is fucking hilarious, pathetic fucker. I am high as fuck and can’t stop laughing.

http://www.heaven666.org/he-loves-dolphins-41185.php


Krystal 1-866-429-4354

Naughty Mommy Krystal

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Soooo funny!

A blind man walks into a restaurant and sits down. The waiter, who is also the owner, hands him a menu.

“I’m sorry, Sir, but I am blind and can’t read the menu. Just bring me a dirty fork from a previous customer, I’ll smell it and order from there.”

A little curious, the owner walks over to a dirty pile and picks up a greasy fork. He returns to the blind man’s table and hands it to him.

The blind man puts the fork to his nose and takes in a deep breath. “Ah, yes, that’s what I’ll have, meatloaf and mashed potatoes.”

“Unbelievable! ” In the kitchen, the owner exclaims to his wife Theresa, who is also the cook, and tells her what has just happened.

A few days later the blind man returns, and the owner brings him a menu.

“Sir, remember me? I’m the blind man.”
“I’m sorry, I didn’t recognize you. I’ll go get you a dirty fork.” The owner again retrieves a dirty fork and brings it to the blind man.

After another deep breath, the blind man says, “That smells great, I’ll take the macaroni and cheese with broccoli.”

In disbelief, the owner tells his wife Theresa that the next time the blind man comes in he’s going to test him.
The blind returns the following week, but this time the owner sees him coming and runs to the kitchen.
He tells his wife, “Theresa, rub this fork on your panties before I take it to the blind man.”

Theresa does it and hands her husband the fork.
As the blind man sits down, the owner is ready.

“Good afternoon sir, this time I remembered you and I already have the fork ready for you.”
The blind man puts the fork to his nose, takes a deep whiff and says,

“Hey, I didn’t know that Theresa works here?”

image32


lexi 1-(888)-220-2462

Purrfect Sexy Lexi.... I love it when you touch me dirty!

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Kitty on my foot and I wanna touch it….

hudson

This is a really catchy song (pun intended) once you hear it you just sing it over and over. lol This is what I have to add to the kitty theme. MEOW Hudson ;)


Hudson 1-877-440-7024

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Awkward boners by Kenzie ;)

baseballboner-2The temps are going up and the skimpy clothes are coming out. Better than that, it’s baseball season, so many sexy older men! Seems if a girl is horny enough, she can find a BONER anywhere! I know that I would be happy to handle his balls. ;) How about you? Do you have some summer wood that I could help you with? You will not strike out. Did you know…there is a whole website dedicated to awkward boners. *giggle* WOW, quite amusing. You all know that I love a good boner.kenzie4


kenzie 1-800-651-0385

Sweet Submissive Teen Treat kenzie

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Death & Taxes…. ugh!

bloody-knife_x6sys_17261

I’m done with my taxes, finally, but it takes me a while to sort through all the mess and get it to my CPA. She does them and sends them off with a big check from me. I need to find more things to deduct, I was reading where this guy deducted a in ground pool as a medical expense. He had to go to tax court but they gave him the deduction, lucky bastard. Maybe I can write off all my PORN, call it “field research” or something. I am ADDICTED to porn… and if I could write it off that would be a sizable deduction right there.

*LIGHTBULB* I need to remind myself to call my CPA so I can start printing and saving receipts now :) Happy FUCKING Tax Day. Sinfully Elle

taxes1222829185


elle 1-800-440-9132

Sinfully Elle

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A cute joke… One you can repeat :) Unlike everything else on our sites LOL.

PRICELESS!
A little boy got on the bus, sat next to a man reading a
book, and noticed he had his collar on backwards.
The little boy asked why he wore his collar backwards.
The man, who was a priest, said, ‘I am a Father.
The little boy replied, ‘My Daddy doesn’t wear his collar
like that.
The priest looked up from his book and answered, ”I am the
Father of many.’
The boy said, ”My Dad has 4 boys, 4 girls and two
grandchildren and he doesn’t wear his collar that way!’
The priest, getting impatient, said. ‘I am the Father of
hundreds’, and went back to reading his book.
The little boy sat quietly thinking for a while, then leaned
over and said, “Maybe you should wear a condom, and put your
pants on backwards instead of your collar.”


elle 1-800-440-9132

Sinfully Elle

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Happy VD day!

I just want to say happy Valentines Day to all my phone lovers! I sure hope to get fucked tonight LOL. Do It With Malice

vd2_smallvdg_smallvd4_small1


Malice 1-877-269-5338

Do It With Malice

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